Forced Marriage
Shameem* married her husband in Pakistan in 2000 as a result of an arrangement between their families. Shameem did not agree to it but felt she had no choice; her family had threatened her and told her declining to marry would bring shame and dishonour to both families.
Abuse
After the marriage Shameem was handed over to the husband’s family. She was very unhappy but her family said that she would be okay. The abuse started soon after the marriage; she had wanted them to take the time to get to know each other but he wasn’t interested in this. Shameem faced physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse and although the physical and emotional abuse was often in front of her husband’s family they said nothing, sometimes encouraging it.
When she told her own family about her situation they promised to speak to her parents-in-law, telling her life in Pakistan would be far worse. They told Shameem that it was her duty to keep the family together and not go against her husband’s parents’ wishes otherwise she would be dishonouring them.
Isolation
Shameem was used as a servant to cook and clean. She was locked in the house and was only allowed to go out with the husband or mother-in-law. She was not allowed to work or communicate with the outside world and spoke no English. Financially Shameem was totally dependent on her husband and did not know anything about the outside world.
Mental Health Issues
On occasions she was abused so badly that they could not avoid going to hospital. Her husband made her tell hospital staff that the injury was a result of self-harm; even though Shameem’s mental health was affected by the abuse, often leaving her feeling depressed, the true circumstances behind her injuries were not heard and her health situation was mis-diagnosed.
She was in need of emotional support but her father had become very ill and she felt it would be very unfair to burden the family with all her problems. Shameem felt completely on her own.
Support from Shakti
Shameem contacted Shakti through a friend. Our keyworker offered support and explained the options, including entitlement to state benefits and housing if she were to leave.
However Shameem was worried about her children’s future schooling and disruptions that would be caused by taking them away from their father. Her husband had always said that if she told anyone about the abuse she would not see the children again as she had been officially diagnosed with mental health issues. She was also scared that the family might find out that she had made contact with Shakti and, as a consequence, they might try to send her back to Pakistan where she would not see her children again.
Racism
Shameem’s experiences of racism from neighbours along with the possibility that she would have no one around to support or protect her resulted in her staying in the relationship. However Shameem knows that she can contact Shakti at any point regardless of her domestic situation and that we will support her with any decision that she makes about her future.
*Shameem is not the person’s real name.
