You might have to move away from the person who is doing the abusing although this doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the person who is abusing will need to move away in order to make the abuse stop. Whatever happens and whoever moves, it is to make sure everyone is safe and that the abusing stops.
Not everyone who lives with abuse moves straight away – this may be confusing but this could be for different reasons, like:
- They are confused about their feelings towards the person doing the abusing
- They are worried about putting themselves and/or their family in danger
- They don’t have enough money to leave
- They believe or hopes that the person doing the abusing can change their behaviour
What’s living in a refuge like?
Some people who leave home because of domestic abuse go to live in a refuge for a short while. A refuge is a place where people can be safe and get support to start rebuilding their lives. Some refuges have shared spaces like kitchens and living rooms where people going through a similar situation can talk and relax together; other refuges are self-contained flats. At all types of refuge, there’s usually support from people like Women’s Aid workers who will help with anything you need and won’t ever judge you because of what you are going through.
What if my Dad wants to see me?
Very often, parents or guardians who move away from each other because of domestic abuse will make sure that children can continue to see the other parent or guardian but only if it is best for the child. What you want to happen is important.
For example, if you live with your Mum, and your Dad wants to see you, first you will be asked how you feel about it. There might be other people involved in the decision, like a social worker or children’s worker but it will only be to make sure everyone is safe and they will always speak with you first about how you feel.
What if my Mum (or Dad) wants to go back home?
If your Mum (or Dad) has been abused by their partner or ex-partner but wants to go back to them, this may be confusing or even frightening for you. Emotions can be complicated and your Mum (or Dad) may feel that their partner or ex-partner will change.
If you feel very frightened to go back, it is a good idea to tell an adult you trust (like your Mum or teacher or social worker) how you feel. Sometimes it is easy for adults to forget how moving about make children and young people feel, and it good to communicate your feelings.
