Arranged and forced marriages are situations that happen within a number of different cultural traditions. However it is important to recognise the difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage.
Arranged marriage is when a family or parents are mainly responsible for matching their daughters or sons with possible partners but the final choice to marry should always belong to the daughter or son. This method of finding possible partners is traditional and fairly common in many communities across the world and some young people are happy to allow their parents the responsibility of finding possible partners for them.
Forced marriage is when a woman or man are not given the final choice to marry or not, and are forced by their parents or family to marry the person chosen for them. This is different to the concept of arranged marriage and is not acceptable within UK law as well as some international laws including the UN Charter of Human Rights.
Forced marriage is a form of abuse because it takes away a person’s human right to make their final choice of life partner; there is also no religious or faith requirement that says you have to marry a certain person you don’t want to.
Someone can be forced into a marriage in different ways:
- Physically, including being prevented from leaving the home or from going to school/work/college, being taken out of the country against your will to get married and being beaten or threatened with physical violence if you decide not to marry the chosen person.
- Emotionally which could include being made to feel that you will shame your family or community of you do not go through with the marriage, that you will cause suffering to family members if you refuse to marry or being told you will not be accepted in the family anymore if you refuse the marriage. This behaviour is also known as emotional blackmail.
- Through deception: in a number of cases, people have sometimes been tricked into travelling to a country where they are to be married, thinking they are just going on holiday or visiting family.
Shakti Women’s Aid can help you if you are affected by forced marriage, or if you are worried it may happen to you. You can contact us in confidence at any point by calling 0131 475 2399 (phones are answered between 10am and 5pm, or leave a message) or by emailing us by filling out the online enquiry form.
There are also other places to get help with forced marriage like Forced Marriage Unit, the police, or Karma Nirvana (go to the Links page for more information).
